My Mom

The below is a write up on my mom which I wrote a few days following my mom's 12 days ceremonies were concluded on February 2012. I am reproducing it as it was written by me:
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It has been a very tumultuous period for my mom. She was a very affectionate lady who gave her love and affection to anyone. She certainly did not deserve the trouble she went through. She was diagnosed with cancer in June 2009 after that it has been a bumpy ride for her. She breathed her last on 20^th January, 2012. She was 56 years old. Still she could survive more as per general standards.

But I am thankful to her. She gave me birth and brought me to this planet for which I am ever grateful and I would never be able to repay this deed in my entire life. Actually I am thankful to both my parents but my mom tolerated me very much. Firstly she kept me in her belly for nine months and then the task of upbringing me till I was able to take care of myself is a tremendous task. I can confirm that I was almost 20 years old when I could take care of myself. Hence for 20+ years she took care of me. Certainly I did not look after her for that long. I am very sad that she left me early and we did not get to spend more time with her.

All I remember that after my grandmother passed away, she was immersed in sorrow. My grandmother was one person who was liked by entire Sabat family and my mother was too much liked by my grandmother. Her death happened in June 2008 and following that my mother was very sorrowful. It has been well documented that being in sorrow or grief can lead to cancer. Unfortunately for my mother she got into a cycle of sorrow and regret which she could not get out of. When the cancer was detected it was already in advanced third stage. Chemotherapy sessions began and after recovery for few days the cancer used to get rebounded. Needless to say, without chemotherapy my mother may not have survived beyond six months.

In the meantime she worked hard and got me married in February 2010. God bless all who were involved in that task and helped her in that effort. I was doing job in Bangalore. In March 2011, my mother came to Bangalore and I am thankful to my father who brought her to Bangalore for treatment. I got to experience first hand the pain she was in. She had a tremendous will to survive and when chemos used to work she used to get happy. When those did not work she became sad and ‘cycle of sorrow’ returned. Later we came to Odisha in August 2011, and she was eager to return to her motherland.

Her desire was to visit holy places like Tirupati, Shirdi, Badrinath, Kedarnath, Puri and her hometown Berhampur and Jatni. She could visit Jatni for one last time before she got bedridden in August 2011 and was unable to move to Puri and Berhampur. She finally came to Berhampur when she was lifeless. She never was at peace in last six months of her life. But when the Lord Almighty gave her release she was finally at peace. It was as though she was resting peacefully and ‘in quiet’, the quietness which she never got when she was alive. In Berhampur when the ambulance arrived all people were waiting for her just as she wanted. She looked as though she was only sleeping. At times it felt that she was having conversation with the women who were surrounding her. Similarly while carrying her to the “shamshan ghat” along with chants of “Ram Nam Satya hai” and “Hari Nam Satya hai” it was as though she was smiling happy to be leaving for her heavenly abode to join her ancestors who blessed her to get relief from the pain she was in.